“Do you think he’ll get back before dusk?” Daypaw idly asked as she watched the sun begin to disappear over the edge of the horizon. The greenleaf warmth had lulled her half to sleep, but she never liked going to sleep without knowing where her brothers were.
“Nightlight’s with him, so he’s safe.” Sunpaw yawned. “I hope they bring back a flounder.”
“Flounder is gross.” Daypaw rolled her eyes. “I hope they bring back a gull.” She settled down beside her brother and began to groom his pelt. The desert was too hot for them to be too close, so they had to share tongues with a mouselength of space between them. As the two began to chat about what they had learned that day, Daypaw kept her eye on the sun. It was sinking lower and lower, and she was starting to worry.
Sunpaw’s tail flicked. “… Hey, Daypaw? Shouldn’t they be back by now?”
“I was thinking the same thing.”
The silence stretched between the littermates as they both watched the camp entrance. Daypaw felt her stomach twist as her eyes slid up to where Solstar and Silversmoke were talking. Should I ask them to go look? She knew Solstar would be displeased if they had to send search parties out this late in the day, but certainly, it would be better than not knowing, right?
Just as Daypaw made up her mind and stood up, she heard the rustling of sand, and her ears perked. Everyone else was already in camp, so it could only be Emberpaw and Nightlight. That’s good. She nudged Sunpaw, who looked as relieved as she did, and they both walked toward the camp entrance to greet them. However, she was almost knocked over as Nightlight burst into camp as if she was being chased by something. Stumbling to keep her footing, Daypaw felt her blood run cold. “N-Nightlight? What happened?”
Nightlight’s eyes were wide, her pupils unfocused, as she gasped for air. “Eb… Emberpaw…”
Daypaw felt her heart jump to her throat, and Sunpaw raced forward. “What happened to Emberpaw?” He asked, his voice verging on desperate.
“The chasm… he fell down the chasm!”
Daypaw felt like retching as she pushed her body to run faster. Sunpaw ran alongside her, looking just as terrified as she felt. Please StarClan, she silently prayed, please keep him alive. Please let us find a way for him to get out. She desperately hoped they would hear her pleas.
“Over here!” Sootfeather called out as he suddenly veered to the right. Nightlight had been entirely exhausted, running solely on adrenaline, and Duneflare had forced her to stay in camp. Sootfeather had taken the lead to track her path, and Daypaw, Sunpaw, and Silversmoke had gone with him. Naturally, Daypaw thought bitterly, Solstar hadn’t come himself.
“Look, the chasm didn’t use to extend like this.” Sootfeather took a moment to catch his breath before patting his paw on the cliff’s edge. Daypaw saw he was right – the black gash usually ran straight down, but here it had suddenly jutted outward.
“Be careful,” Silversmoke urged, putting a paw on Daypaw’s shoulder to stop her from shooting forward. “We don’t know how stable the edge is anymore.”
Daypaw felt frustration well up in her chest, and she shook off her mentor, carefully getting as close to the edge as she could. As expected, the chasm was far too deep to see to the bottom. “Emberpaw!” She shouted down. Her voice echoed back as if mocking her, but she couldn’t hear any replies. It didn’t stop her from trying a few more times, her voice becoming more and more desperate.
Silversmoke perched at the edge of the chasm crack, inspecting it closely. “It slopes a little. It could be that he slid instead of fell.” He didn’t add ‘to his death’ to the end of his sentence, but Daypaw and Sunpaw both shuddered at the intention.
“Nightlight said she heard him yowl,” Sootfeather added gently. “So he could be down there still. We don’t know how deep it is, so maybe he can’t hear you. Or he hit his head and is asleep.”
“Daypaw,” Sunpaw suddenly said. “Hold my tail. I’ll see how far this slope goes.”
“Absolutely not!” Before Daypaw could even reply, Silversmoke stepped in their way. “I will not allow that. If something happened and the two of you also fell…”
“Emberpaw is our brother!” The rage and fear in Daypaw’s heart reached a boiling point. “He’s down there, and we have to try something! He’s probably hurt and waiting for us!”
Silversmoke hesitated as if debating on saying something, but then Sootfeather spoke up. “I’ll do it. Silversmoke, you can hold my tail.” He glanced back. “… or what’s left of it, at least. Silversmoke, you’re stronger than either of them and I… uh, if I fall down, I’ll just have you guys drop me some herbs so I can treat Emberpaw.”
Daypaw’s throat felt tight, but she stepped back and nodded, her heart pounding in her chest. StarClan, please keep Emberpaw safe. She repeated the prayer in her head again and again as she watched Silversmoke carefully lower Sootfeather into the crack. Sunpaw curled his tail around her and buried his face in her shoulder as if terrified to watch any longer.
Before too long, they heard Sootfeather’s ragged voice say, “… pull me up.”
Daypaw immediately felt weak as she saw Sootfeather’s crestfallen face. “What? Did… did you see…?” She couldn’t bring herself to say ‘his body.’
“No,” Sootfeather said quickly, pushing something closer to the siblings. “… when Nightlight said she heard him yowl in pain, I think… it was because of this.”
What Sootfeather had pushed toward Sunpaw and Daypaw were several bloodied claws. Daypaw gasped and dug her own claws into the sand, and Silversmoke let out a low curse.
“This… doesn’t mean anything,” Sunpaw said confidently. “Just because he broke his claws doesn’t mean that yowl Nightlight heard wasn’t from the bottom of the chasm.”
Daypaw stared at the edge of the chasm as the others began to argue, completely tuning them out. Was Emberpaw alive? Was he suffering down there? Or is he… The thought made Daypaw’s chest hurt, and she released a shaky breath. “We… we could find somewhere that’s lower…” She said quietly, but the toms were too busy fighting and didn’t hear her.
StarClan, Daypaw closed her eyes, please bring him home…
“… do you want to hunt today?” Silversmoke asked quietly.
Daypaw stared numbly as Sparkshine sniffed the edges of the chasm, whispering with Nightlight as they tried to judge the best place to get down into the chasm. She shot a hostile look to her mentor before standing and wordlessly walking to Nightlight. The black and white cat immediately pressed her forehead into Daypaw’s shoulder. “We haven’t found a low ledge yet.”
It had already been half a moon since Emberpaw had fallen in. Daypaw refused to believe her brother was gone, but with every passing day, fewer and fewer cats showed up to try and help. Even Sunpaw had abandoned the search, returning to Harestreak for training. Silversmoke urged Daypaw to do the same, but she just couldn’t. Harestreak and Duneflare hadn’t even bothered to look at all, and Silversmoke had given up after their first visit to the chasm. Sootfeather had tried, but heat exhaustion had forced him to stop.
And Solstar… He didn’t seem phased at all. Though he allowed them to keep searching, he preferred to hunt and patrol over looking for his own son. Daypaw bitterly thought of how often Emberpaw had said Solstar wouldn’t care if he wouldn’t make it back, and she had defended her father. Emberpaw, I hope you can forgive them when you come back. You won’t ever have to hunt in the sun again, I promise. Just make it back alive. That would be enough.
Deep down, Daypaw couldn’t blame anyone for giving up, and that scared her. She knew that it really was a hopeless task. In all of their searching, they hadn’t heard or seen a single trace of him. It truly was… devastating. Solstar was right to make sure the Clan was fed, and she knew he had taken to hunting more often to make up for those who were still looking for Emberpaw.
“… let’s go back for today,” Sparkshine said suddenly. Daypaw’s head shot up at his words.
“What? Didn’t we just start?”
“We already searched this entire side,” Sparkshine said gently. “Tomorrow, we can make the trek around to the other side and try over there.”
“But-!” Daypaw was stopped when Nightlight shook her head.
“He’s right, Daypaw. Let’s go hunting, just the two of us.” Nightlight said softly.
“If you’re hunting,” Silversmoke tried to interrupt, but Nightlight sent him such a savage look that even Daypaw was taken aback. After a moment, Silversmoke dipped his head. “… never mind.”
As Daypaw and Nightlight trudged away in silence, Daypaw found that her eyes were constantly drawn to the chasm. She hoped, prayed, that she would suddenly hear Emberpaw’s voice calling from below, but the abyss was silent as it ever was. After they walked for quite a while, Nightlight came to a sudden stop. Daypaw looked around to see what had caused the sudden halt, and her heart twisted. They had managed to come back to the place where Emberpaw fell.
“… I had my own kits, you know,” Nightlight said suddenly. “Before the ground tremors.”
Daypaw glanced up at Nightlight, whose face was clouded with grief. “Before you came to the island?” She knew that most cats had come from a land far away – she and her littermates were among the first kits born here.
“That’s right,” Nightlight said, her voice trembling with emotion. “And I loved them so much… but when the earth tremors hit…” She closed her eyes and took a shaky breath. “The ground opened up beneath us. Just like it did with Emberpaw.”
The implication made Daypaw’s heart seize in her chest. “… they fell in?”
“They did.”
The two she-cats sat in sorrow-filled silence for a long while. Daypaw took a deep breath and said, “Are you going to tell me to move on too?”
“I am.”
“Just like Silversmoke.”
“Just like me, Daypaw.” Nightlight’s voice was choked with emotion. “Emberpaw probably isn’t coming home. We can’t do anything to change that. The only thing you can do is get up and keep moving.” After a moment, she added, “I’m not going to tell you that things will get better. Sometimes… grief never goes away. But you’ll get stronger. And you’ll be able to manage it yourself.”
Daypaw stared blankly at the chasm, feeling countless emotions swirl around in her chest. “I just don’t understand why everyone else gave up so quickly. And… Solstar. It’s like Solstar never cared at all.”
“A lot of us went through so much of this pain already,” Nightlight replied softly. “Solstar… I can’t tell you what he’s endured since I don’t know myself. But everyone has something they’re grieving over.”
“I don’t want to give up on Emberpaw.”
“I know. Neither do I.”
“We don’t have a choice, do we?”
“No, my love. I’m sorry.”
Daypaw’s shoulders sagged. “… do you think he’s really dead?”
Nightlight shifted closer and rested her chin on Daypaw’s head. “I don’t know, Daypaw. No one can say for sure. I wish I knew, I really did.”
With a sob, Daypaw buried her head into Nightlight’s chest. “It’s not fair. Emberpaw was supposed to be a warrior with us. He worked harder than any of us. He… never even caught a rabbit. He said he would give me the pelt of the first one he caught.”
“He was always talking about how he wanted to catch one with white fur,” Nightlight replied softly, “because some rogues said that they were lucky.”
Daypaw felt her heart break even more. “I want to see him again.”
“One day, little one, we can see him again in StarClan.”