Redpaw walked alongside Scorpionsting, feeling both proud and petulant. On one paw, the apprentice was well-aware of where the tundra was – hard to miss a massive expanse of snow when climbing a mountain – so he felt like his mentor escorting him was pointless. But on the other paw, he was glad for the company.
The apprentice trials, which were touted as the most harrowing and difficult tasks a SunClan cat ever had to do, had been… easy. Redpaw was used to the danger and uncertainty the trials posed. After all, it wasn’t much different than his time as a rogue, abandoned by whichever miserable cat had given birth to him.
“Remember not to aggravate them.” Scorpionsting was saying. “Tundra cats are… not like other Clan cats. There’s a good reason why most Clans are further south. No rational cat wants to spend their time in the StarClan-forsaken snow.”
“Mm.” Redpaw hummed, unsure of what to say. He had never been good with words and it was hard to come up with something that wouldn’t make him seem foolish, so he just stayed quiet most of the time. Scorpionsting never minded. In fact, Redpaw was willing to bet his mentor would like him a whole lot less if he was as talkative as Emberkit.
“Most tundra cats will let you go on your way easily if you just tell them where you’re headed,” Scorpionsting continued, “but don’t count on it. There are a lot of bullies among them and if you’re unlucky you might catch one who would rather fight. Evade if you can, fight if necessary. Don’t do anything that would make StarClan disappointed in you.”
Redpaw nodded once. “I won’t.” His mentor grunted and they continued on in silence. Dawn came and went as they walked and, just as the sun was reaching its peak, a frigid breeze blew sand into Redpaw’s eyes.
The apprentice involuntarily shuddered – it was as if some icy cat had just raked their claws against his skin. His fur was short and no protection against the freezing wind.
Scorpionsting paused. “The tundra is ahead. It’s time for me to turn back.” The big tom paused, as if wanting to say more, but then turned and walked away. Redpaw wasn’t sure if he was disappointed about it or not.
No time to be disappointed. Redpaw silently scolded. You have to make it to the Starflame by dusk. It was no easy task – though he’d never gone himself, the other apprentices called it the worst task they had to undertake. Not only was the tundra cold beyond compare, but the Starflame itself was nestled far to the north, half a day’s walk away. And if he wasn’t able to make it there by dusk, Redpaw would have to wait until the next night to go in.
Every step Redpaw took made the air colder and colder. The cacti and agave that dotted his arid home fell away and were replaced by shrubs and grasses that were completely alien to him. This is a strange place. Snow suddenly crunched under his paw, icy and painful, and Redpaw jerked it back.
An endless sea of white stretched before Redpaw, dotted only by the occasional gray tree that grew defiantly against the wailing winds. This isn’t much different than the desert, the apprentice lied to himself. Just cold. As he walked, the ground suddenly shifted and he fell into a belly-deep drift. And unstable.
Climbing out of the drift, Redpaw shook himself out and continued on. The winds blasted him violently – not much different than the mountainous gales that he’d faced just a few sunrises ago. I can do it. The snow was becoming a problem, though. When it wasn’t being blown into his eyes, the weak sunlight that glanced off it was utterly blinding.
Scorpionsting was right. Redpaw thought as he forced his way through the drifts of snow. No rational cat would choose to live here. What kind of sandbrain would actually want to freeze off their toes like this?
Just as Redpaw thought he was going to collapse, a voice echoed through the snowy world. “Hey!” Someone shouted. “Are you stupid or something? Get out of the drifts!”
Squinting against the snowy glare, Redpaw tried his best to make out the owner of the voice. After a few moments, he was finally able to recognize the shape of two cats. They had kitten fluff around their ears still.
They’re just kits! Redpaw thought in shock. What are they doing out of their camp? After a moment, he finally mustered, “Who are you?”
The larger kit, a tom, clicked his tongue. “Does it matter? Get out of the drifts before you freeze to death.”
Redpaw blinked a couple of times and, upon further inspection, realized that the kits were perched on a strange bunch of plants he couldn’t identify. “How…?”
Clearly impatient, the other kit lowered her head and grabbed Redpaw by the scruff, trying to tug him up. He was startled to see the she-kit, even with the fluffiness of kits, was almost as large as he was! Her paws were also massive.
“Climb!” The she-kit growled through gritted teeth. “I can’t haul you up by myself!”
Redpaw jolted out of his surprise and clambered up. “Oh.” He stared at the two cats for a long moment, trying to process what exactly was going on. They were definitely kits, but they were outside of whatever camp they belonged to and were big.
“Who are you?” The tom stepped forward eyeing Redpaw distrustfully. “You’re obviously not from around here. No one but a beebrained forest cat would try and walk through snowdrifts like that.”
“I’m from the desert,” Redpaw said, shifting uncomfortably. He was now standing on the same cushy plant that was almost like moss, but fluffy and softer.
“That’s even worse.” The she-kit pointed out. “I’m Spectral, and this is Thorn.” She paused, clearly waiting.
“Redpaw.”
The kits exchanged a glance. “Clancat,” Thorn grunted. “What are you doing on our territory?”
Redpaw blinked. “This is your territory?” He tried to recall the names of the tundra Clans, but he wasn’t even sure if Scorpionsting mentioned any. The kits didn’t have Clan names, but he’d never heard of rogues owning territory.
“Is your head full of snow flurry or…?” Thorn scoffed. “You didn’t answer me. What are you doing here?”
“Starflame.” Redpaw blurted out. “I’m… headed there.”
Spectral gave Redpaw a dubious look. “Why? Are you a healer or something? You look young.”
“I’m older than you.”
“And yet you still don’t know how to walk outside of the snowdrifts.” Spectral retorted. “Come on, I’ll show you where it is.” She started walking without even looking to make sure Redpaw was behind. Thorn gave him a scornful look and padded after the other kit.
Redpaw was flabbergasted. What just happened? He hadn’t expected the tundra cats to appear, much less help. Silently, he followed after the pair and prayed to StarClan that they weren’t leading him into some sort of trap.
The day stretched on quietly as Redpaw followed the pair of strangers. He found himself to be utterly bored – the tundra was a blank landscape of nothing but white. On the rare occasion that they passed a plant, it was usually gray and barren. Ice clung to Redpaw to the point where it was physically painful. His companions never seemed to mind, keeping up a constant chatter between them.
Redpaw picked up that they lived in some sort of group, though they never called it a Clan, that lived in two-leg ruins. They seemed to act like Clancats, despite their weird names, but the apprentice wasn’t sure what kind of Clan would willingly live in an abandoned two-leg den.
Soon, Spectral stopped. Redpaw blinked up at her – they were standing on a slope that she was ahead and above him on. “Come on,” the she-kit said briskly, “we don’t have all day.”
Pushing his way up the remaining foxlengths, Redpaw crested the hill and saw a yawning cavern. “It’s through there,” Spectral said. “Good luck. Our mother says it’s a cursed place.” With that, the pair of kits scampered off before Redpaw could muster a ‘thank you.’
Weird cats. Redpaw thought, shaking his head. He picked his way down the snowy slope, feeling a bit desolate now that his companions had left. After a moment, he snorted harshly. Don’t be stupid. They’re not your friends. You’ll never see them again. Even before he joined SunClan, he didn’t have random cats as friends. He didn’t need to start now.
The cavern of the Starflame lay ahead, a daunting stone spire that jutted out of the icy ground like claws grasping towards the sky. Taking a deep breath, Redpaw plunged into the gap and made his way through.
It was dark at first, but soon Redpaw realized he was able to see dimly. After a few more pawsteps, it became bright and, just as he rounded the corner, the tom smelled the acrid scent of fire.
True to its name, the Starflame burned as brightly as any star. The pale fire flickered and danced enticingly as Redpaw drew closer. He glanced around for a moment, trying to figure out what to do, before just laying down before the fire. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.
Almost instantly, Redpaw awoke in a desert. Stars glittered in every grain of sand and outlined every cactus or palm. The rolling dunes were foreign to him, as were the cats who were clearly hunting a few tail-lengths away. Before he could ask what was going on, one of the cats broke away and raced over.
The she-cat was thick-furred and tall, with patches of inky black against her white pelt. Her gaze was kindly, but her words were not. “It took you long enough, Redpaw. You’re not a rogue anymore, you can’t be late.”
Redpaw gaped at the she-cat, unable to muster up a response. She shook her head and snorted softly. “I’m Rabbitstep. Come on, we have much to talk about.”
Much to Redpaw’s ire, the she-cat trotted away and clearly expected him to follow. What’s with cats today? He thought to himself as he followed after Rabbitstep anyway.
The she-cat led Redpaw to a rather secluded but wonderful oasis. A pool of water deep enough to submerge a cat entirely ringed by broad date and palm trees – it was any desert dweller’s dream.
“Are we in StarClan?” Redpaw asked as he sat by the water’s edge. He stared into his reflection, unsure of how to feel. Every Clancat talked about StarClan with such reverence that it was impossible not to believe in them too. But still… in the back of his mind somehow, he thought the whole “dreaming with StarClan” thing was just a euphemism.
“Where else would we be?” Rabbitstep’s face appeared in the water beside Redpaw. “Certainly not the tundra.”
“I didn’t realize it was a tangible place.” Redpaw blinked once. The water rippled for a moment, distorting his features.
Rabbitstep laughed lightly. “It was a shock to me too, you know.” She moved closer. “You have a lot of discord in your heart.”
“No,” Redpaw said it instantly without thinking.
With a scoff, Rabbitstep gently cuffed Redpaw over the ears. “Don’t be foolish. You won’t fix the problem until you acknowledge it.”
“I don’t have one.”
Rabbitstep gave an exaggerated sigh. “Fine. I’ll tell you myself. When you think of the Clan, you’re not thinking of them as your kin and friends. You think of them as cats you need to repay for saving your life.”
Redpaw shifted uncomfortably, unsure of how to respond. It was unsettling to hear his internal struggle laid out by some stranger.
The she-cat’s tail flicked. “You’re not going to get StarClan’s approval until we get through this. So tell me, why do you not think of your Clanmates as your kin?”
“Isn’t that obvious?” Redpaw responded after a moment.
“Because you were a rogue?” Rabbitstep’s violet gaze was keen.
Redpaw glanced at the she-cat from the corner of his eye. “Yeah. They’re not my kin.”
Rabbitstep shook her head. “You still have a lot to learn, Redpaw.” Her paw reached out and brushed against the water, causing ripples to spread across the pond. “I was a rogue, once, just like you. But there’s a difference between you and me. Do you know what it is?”
“You’re dead?” Redpaw said before he could stop himself.
Rabbitstep snorted and used her paw to splash the apprentice. “Excuse me, that’s not what I meant and you know it.” She shook her head and laughed quietly. “The difference is that while I was alive, the Clan was my family. We worked side by side and took care of each other.”
“Sounds like what I do now.” Redpaw pointed out.
Rabbitstep grunted. “You don’t get it. When you do the work, it’s because you want to prove yourself to your Clanmates. You think it’s all about showing them that you were worth saving.”
Redpaw stared at the water and didn’t reply.
“That was my greatest regret.” Rabbitstep continued softly. “I never took a mate or had kits. I thought I needed to show everyone that there was a reason they let me in. Most of my life… well, it was wasted.”
“You were helping your Clan.” Redpaw’s ear flicked. In the reflection of the water, he could see the sadness in Rabbitstep’s eyes. “How is that a waste?”
Rabbitstep shook her head and stood. “It’s because I didn’t do it for them. I did it for myself. As soon as I started working to prove something, I lost the basic connection to our Clanmates. Do you think Emberkit and Twigkit have fanciful ideas about needing to demonstrate their value?”
“Of course not.” Redpaw loved to play with Firedapple’s kits and was almost a second mother to them.
“Then why do you think they’ll work just as hard as you?” Rabbitstep prompted.
Redpaw was at a loss for words again, so he just shrugged.
“You’re in StarClan, kid, would it kill you to speak up more?” Rabbitstep grumbled before headbutting Redpaw in the side. It was light, barely even making him stagger. “Come on. We’re walking.”
Redpaw stood up and followed after Rabbitstep silently, mulling over her words. The she-cat was confusing – every time she tried to point out their differences, it seemed like she was just splitting whiskers. So what if I want to prove myself? That isn’t bad. Still… something she said prickled at his fur. ‘I did it for myself.’ Was that what he was doing? Only striving to be the best because he wanted to repay the Clan?
“Here.” Rabbitstep stopped abruptly in front of a large pool of water. Redpaw squinted into it and, to his surprise, he saw the inverted image of Nightbloom. It was impossible to mistake her scarred face for anyone else. She was staring into the pool intently as if trying to see something.
“What…” Redpaw trailed off and glanced at Rabbitstep who stared at him silently. After the moment stretched on long enough to be awkward, he finally finished, “What is this place?”
“Oh, look, you can speak.” Rabbitstep snorted, which Redpaw thought was unfair as he’d been speaking to her already. “This is the Den. Or rather, our side of the Den.” She touched the water with the tip of her tail and Nightbloom instantly seemed alert.
“I thought… um, that StarClan was above. In the sky.” Redpaw struggled to put his words out, knowing Rabbitstep would make him say his whole sentence before answering.
“It’s not quite so… linear.” The she-cat said matter-of-factly. “Now, why do you think Nightbloom is waiting here?”
“Because she’s a medicine cat?” Redpaw blinked. “That’s what they do. Talk to, uh, you.”
Rabbitstep sighed in exasperation. “You don’t think highly of yourself, do you?” At Redpaw’s confused look, she shook her head. “Nightbloom is waiting for a sign about you. She’s taking time out of her day to see if StarClan accepts you or not.”
“Oh.” Redpaw shuffled his paws. “… I hope she isn’t spending too much time because of me.” Rabbitstep stared at the apprentice for so long that his fur was beginning to feel scorched. “What?”
“Nightbloom thinks you’re worth spending an entire night in the Den,” Rabbitstep said slowly. “Scorpionsting is waiting on the border of the tundra instead of heading back to your camp, which he could do. Firedapple is telling her kits that one day they can be like you and set off on their apprentice quests. Ferretleap and Gilatooth are arguing about what your warrior name would be.” The she-cat tilted her head to the side. “Don’t you see?”
Emotion sprang up in Redpaw’s chest unbidden, causing his throat to close up. “I-” He really couldn’t reply now. They’re all really waiting for me? Even Ferretleap?
“Your Clan has already accepted you as their own,” Rabbitstep said, her eyes softening. “To them, you are their kin, no matter where you come from. You have already proven yourself. It’s time for you to start thinking of them as your kin too.”
“I see,” was all Redpaw managed to say. Rabbitstep gently placed her muzzle on the apprentice’s shoulder for a moment before the starry world began spinning around him. “Wait-” He blurted out, then immediately felt foolish. What can I say? After a moment, he called, “Thank you!”
Rabbitstep’s laughter still rang in Redpaw’s ears as he awoke. The weak tundra sunlight was filtering its way through the cavern, illuminating the stone and making the fire seem somehow dimmer.
Taking a deep breath, Redpaw steadied himself and left the Starflame. His chest felt strangely light now, thrumming with excitement as he thought of returning home. Yeah. Home. He laughed lightly at himself and squinted against the sun’s glare against the snow. Morning turned the tundra into a new world – small yellow and purple flowers bloomed among the mosses that clung to the ground and rabbits dashed across the snow while chittering.
It really is beautiful. Redpaw thought, pausing for a moment. Then he snorted. But too cold. The desert is much better. He raced away, heading home to receive his warrior name.